What's up dingleberry danglers! It's ya boy, Agent00Funk, here to welcome you back to another edition of the TendieDome! That's right, its time for another wall of text for your literary entertainment, definitely not for your financial advice. By popular request, I even figured out how to add pictures. Keanu help us. submitted by Agent00funk to wallstreetbetsOGs [link] [comments] If you're as illiterate as a Mississippi high school drop-out, go ahead and skip to the bottom for the TL;DR and my positions. I don't wanna hear no bitching about your lack of attention span, alright, because I will call you a slack-jawed cousin-fucker. Bet. So staple your eye shades open, Clockwork Orange style, and get ready to be blown away by how one of America's worst companies is gonna make you tendies. Those of you that have been following my DDs know that I'm not about rocket ships, I'm not gonna send you to the moon or Mars (but Uranus is in the cards). No, no, no, my sweet little summer autists, my plays are are all about steady accumulation of tendies. The goal? Acquire enough tendies so you can buy a first class ticket on whatever rocket a superior autist says is launching. Most of my plays are LONG term HOLDs, today's is a slight exception as we're looking for a Q3 or Q4 pay out. Maybe one day I'll grace you with my casino plays, but before I do that, we gotta make sure you're bringing enough dough to the paste-eating competition. And I sure as shit don't want y'all dick whistlers to blame me when the casino play doesn't pan out, so we're sticking with safe territory for now. Alright, now that I've masturbated enough and have that post-nut clarity to tell you why you should be putting money in CMCSA. That's right you little chode yodlers, muthafucking Comcast. Lots of you are probably already their customer, and have evolved to instantly wanna shit on Comcast. I don't blame you, they seriously suck, bunch of fucking assholes. But you know what sucky fucky assholes do? Make stacks on stacks on stacks. They're fucking you, AND taking your money. These guys have prostitution really figured out....you don't even know that you their ho. So, let's channel our inner Charlie, and do some Pepe Silivia deep dive due diligence. That's right, it's not just a DD like your wife's bra, we're going for the DDDD! This is us rn. Would you take financial advice from this guy? So, CMCSA....where do even start? The highway-robbery pricing (tendies)? The understaffed and overworked employees (tendies)? The geographical monopolies they hold? (tendies). The reliance on dumbfuck Boomers as a customer base (I wanna hear the choir sing it with me now:...tendies)? No, no, no....you may be retarded, but you know when you're getting fucked, and you know you pay for getting fucked anyway, just like everyone else (tendies). fr fr CMCSA basically makes money in two ways: 1.) fucking you. 2.) fucking others. But wait! There's more! They have even more ways of taking money from you and everybody else, and if your goldfish attention span can handle it, you'll see what I'm talking about. Oh and charts. I do have charts. Fuck, me and Billie Eyelash have been spending so much time in the Crayon Room together, those charts have so many colors, most of them green. Before I bust out these fucking rainbow crayons, let's cover some ground facts. For the Europoors among us, you may be shocked to find out that most Americans have NO CHOICE in who their ISP is. I know, cue the Sarah McLachlan and charity pitch, it's fucking pathetic. Free markets, my ass. But you know what that means? Tendies. That's right, Comcast has the most little fiefdoms of all the ISPs in the land. Only $T can compete, but here's the kicker: people have been ditching $T for CMCSA. Why? Because $T offers DSL in a gigabit world, that's locked inside because of a pandemic, re-discovering what made cyber sex so awkward over AIM, but now with cameras! (All the real Gs were around for that A/S/L/ convo, shit was Catfish City). So, while all you fuckwads are going to work in your Superman pajamas on Zoom, more people signed up for that sweet, sweet broadband., so they too could go to work in their Cookie Monster pajamas. (Mine are camouflaged, my co-workers don't even know I'm there, they just see square burger patties getting flipped on the griddle and are like "woooooooooooooaaah") I know you bell-end ringers don't read, but you can read a little more about subscriber increases here: (https://www.cnbc.com/2021/01/28/comcast-cmcsa-q4-2020-earnings.html) Did you notice that link? CNBC? Reputable shit, right? I know some of you motherfuckers pay CMCSA like $200/month just to watch that shit, along with 400 other channels of garbage. That's right Europoors, CMCSA isn't just an ISP with a monopoly, it's a cable TV provider with a monopoly (tendies). And you know what else? They own CNBC. Fuck, they own ALL of NBC. Now, I know, some of you more erudite ballsack gargglers already know this, but let's let the retards catch up. Because, guess what you molasses racers, CMCSA also owns Universal Studios. For the nerds in the front row, shut the fuck up, we already know you're smart. Are you seeing this shit? Like, seriously, are you piecing this shit together? CMCSA owns the pipes, CMCSA owns the shit in them, large swatches of America have no choice except CMCSA, and more people need those shitty ass pipes, because it's way fucking better than the old ass copper $T is selling. "Alright," you say, "CMCSA would've been a good pandemic play, what's the bull case looking forward?" Well tug my dick and call me Rick, that's why we're here. I can already tell this is going become a damn book of retardation, so I'm going to add some chapters. TV Subscriptions. We've got the finest stock art, just for you This is the weakest part of CMCSA, everyone is cutting the cord, they're sticking to streaming, but if you check that link above, you'll see that they actually managed to add over 400k new subscribers. Sure, some of that can be attributed to people being bored as fuck at home during the pandemic and figuring they'll get 400 channels of dog vomit to help ease their soul-crushing ennui. There aren't a lot of reasons to expect these growth figures to continue, except one, which I will get to in a bit, but I do think they'll be a bit sticky. Why? Fucking Boomers man. Boomers have this very strange addiction to channel surfing. I don't get it. They just sit there and flip through 400 channels at 10 channels/second for hours on hours on hours. They aren't even watching anything, just surfing. Don't believe me? Go ask a Boomer near you how much time they spend channel surfing and why they won't give it up. They love complaining about it too: "all these fucking channels, and nothing to watch." If you point out that they could just STREAM something they want to watch, they just go right back to surfing, because they don't actually know what they want to watch. TV may be going the way of the dinosaur, but there are still lots of dinosaurs surfing channels for now, hell, they even picked up more. How? Is it all just bored people signing up for TV during the pandemic? Maybe, but I've got another theory about geography! Internet Subscriptions Yup. So, even though people may be cutting the cord, they can't do that without internet, and...well....yeah, CMCSA may see declines from TV subscriptions, but definitely not internet subscriptions, not this year anyway. Again, I refer to the earnings report to show you jello heads the subscription numbers. I'm not going to belabor this point much, surely you know people need broadband, and CMCSA is the only game in town in many places. Geographic Monopolies in Growth Markets Awwww yiiissss gimme Park Place If you've been reading along thus far, congratulations, you'll remember that we talked about the little fiefdom monopolies these guys have across the country. So, where are those fiefdoms located? Right here: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_communities_served_by_Comcast Now, I won't bust out the charts for population growth in all of these, because there is a fuck ton, but even just looking at Alabama (Roll Tide), you see that 80% of their markets in that state are growth markets, and only 1 is showing population decline.... and they're only in 6 markets there! Now, they don't hold 80% of growth markets in every state, but they hold a lot. This means that as these cities attract more people and grow, those poor saps will have no choice but to sign up for CMCSA if they want TV and/or internet. Yes, goons and goblins, CMCSA doesn't just have a captive audience, it has a captive audience in places where the audience is growing. Do I really need to spell out how these equates to tendies? Want to know something even better? Biden's infrastructure plan includes heaps of money for increasing broadband access to underserved and rural communities, communities that will then become part of CMCSA's growing fiefdoms. Streaming Trying to catch my shows fresh from the stream with my bare hands CMCSA has also launched its own streaming service, Peacock, and if you look at the CNBC link, you can see subscriber numbers for that as well. Seeing the writing on the wall, CMCSA has gotten in on making money from cord-cutters. Again, CMCSA owns the entire NBC and Universal Studios catalog, but it really doesn't matter because just like a bunch of people signed up for Disney+ just to watch The Mandalorian, a bunch of people have and will sign up for Peacock just to watch The Office. And yeah, it fucking sucks that before you could have Hulu and Netflix and not need any more streaming services, that they are Balkanizing the streaming space just like they did with cable, and now you need like 20 different apps, but go look at the Universal/NBC catalog and tell me that you wouldn't pay $5/month for access to it if you couldn't get it anywhere else. I mean shit. WWE is exclusive to Peacock...do I need to say more? Do you smell-l-l-l-l-l what The Funk is cooking? Theme Parks and the Recovery Who else re-installing RCT2? Here's a kick in the pants that you didn't expect. Universal studios. That's right, these motherfuckers got their own janky-ass wannabe Disney World. Hell, if anyone ever does open a Jurassic Park, it'll be CMCSA because they've got the rights to it and know how to run a theme park. How much do they add? About $6 billion/year (pre 2020). How much did they make in 2020? $1.8 billion. There's $4 billion set to come back into the pot. But wait, there's more! They're going to open their largest park ever this year, been building it since 2016, and the opening has been confirmed despite the Rona. Where? In Beijing, so you know the place is gonna be huge and full. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Universal_Studios_Beijing So as the vaccine gets out there, the world returns to "normal" and people go spend absurd amounts of money to slide across bits of metal, not only will missing revenue return, but CMCSA is ready to make the pot bigger. When is it opening? May. This is important because we're not looking for a pay-out until after the park has opened. If you feel more retarded after having read this far, imagine how retarded I am for having written all that linguistic linguini. So, now that we know what the bull case for CMCSA is, let's bust out those crayons and look at some charts to get the full confirmation-bias effect and look at possible entry and exit points. CRAYON ROOM TIME! I don't know if this will be mo bigga when you fumble fucks look at it, I'm too retarded to figure out formatting. I really don't know fuck about shit when it comes to numbers, but I do know the lines look pretty. So, let's run this down real fast. This is a weekly chart going back to 2018. I wanted to go that far back to show you two things. 1.) CMCSA recovered from a dip in 2018 much like it has from the COVID dip, and is on pace to match or exceed it's growth average since 2018. 2.) Annual dividend increases of around 10%. Looking at the chart, there is no reason not to expect the same announcement towards the end of the year, and in fact the next quarterly dividend has already received the increase. I've got a few other lines in there, but what I want to point out is how much the price rises above the moving price average, weather measured as a simple moving price average or within Bollinger Bands. Dips below the average tend to recover and be above the average again within 2-3 weeks. Crayons are awesome. I should invest in Crayola. Now let's look a little at demand. Again, this is a weekly chart, but this time we're mostly going to be focusing on the right side of the chart. The top chart is a Stochastic Full measurement, the two horizontal blue lines represent oversold (top) and overbought (bottom). Generally speaking, if a stock is oversold, the price goes down, people buy, and the price goes up, leading to a position of it being overbought where people sell for profit, price goes down, and rinse and repeat. The squiggly lines are the two measurements of where the stock is in relation to being oversold or overbought. So what is it showing us? That the stock was recently oversold, and is heading towards being overbought. Best time to get in would've been 2 weeks ago, but try posting a DD on WSB back then that wasn't about the holy trinity cult. So what does this mean? Well, buying now could lead to a little rise followed by a little dip as it fluctuates between oversold and overbought. The second graphs is the MACD (Moving Average Convergence Divergence) this chart essentially measures sentiment, if it's up, it's bullish, if it's down, its bearish. I know some of you eggheads will correct me with finer points, but I don't have time to write a textbook that I'm incapable of understanding. As you can see, it has leveled off, which makes me believe it will dip, this also corresponds to it's movements in the Stochastic measurements. So don't buy at open, watch it for a bit, it might dip. The third graph...I have no fucking clue y'all. It had the word "projection" in it, and the line is pointing up, and that was good enough for me. Timing and Prices If you can get in for under $50, do it. I'm not sure if it will dip that low again soon, but it's within possibility. Calls aren't terribly priced, they're not the value they were 2 weeks ago when I first wanted to write this, but they're still a good value, especially for July and beyond, which is the timeframe we're looking at for an exit. Or not. I mean, you could sit on this shit forever and not really have to worry, which is another thing I like about it. But I have calls for July and October and may even pick up the 2022 LEAPs. We're looking for two events to provide a nice pop for our exits; the new park opening and Q3 earnings report that should include initial earnings from the parks, both new and re-opened. We want to see if the customers are going back to the parks, and returning that missing money into the pot, and we want to see how growth of broadband customers has increased. But again, don't sweat too much about timing and prices, this thing just keeps marching upwards. Positions CMCSA Shares CMCSA 16 July $50c CMCSA 15 Oct $52.5c Tl;dr CMCSA. No rockets, but good value. 7/10 Would buy again. DISCLAIMER: I don't know what I'm doing, you listen to me at your own peril, please leave me alone SEC. |
Samsung Money by SoFi is the new way to grow your hard-earned cash, letting you save, spend, and earn -- all in one secure place. Now available on Samsung Pay.Look for more SoFi-as-a-Service deals as consumer brands and dinosaur financial firms seek to catch up.
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... pulled in about $200 million in revenue in the third quarter and also generated positive earnings before interest, taxes, depreciation and amortization and other exceptions, the first time it has done so since 2017, Noto wrote in a letter to shareholders last month.per The Information.
Our strategy, what we refer to as the "Financial Services Productivity Loop", is centered around building trust and a lifetime relationship with our members, which we believe will help build a sustainable competitive advantage. In order to deliver on our strategy, we must develop best in class unit economics and best in class products that build trust and reliability between our members and our platform. When we do this on a member's first product, and they later consider using a second product, they are more likely to start with our platform and we have a higher chance that they will select one of our products to meet their other financial needs. This results in delivering more revenue per member with no second member acquisition costs, resulting in higher lifetime value per member. This also reinforces the benefits of our platform, which simplifies the entire financial ecosystem for our members, helping them get their money right. We are able to use the increased profits to further improve member benefits and product experience.SoFi seeks to fulfill all of a Member's financial needs in one super app. Here is a FSPL visual.
Obviously, we put a lot of thought into where we chose to go with our first international foothold, and Hong Kong made sense to us for several reasons. As one of the financial capitals of Asia and a global financial center, it has a strong base of both novice and sophisticated investors that would benefit from the innovation we could bring to the market.Members in HK can trade over 15,000 US and Hong Kong stocks for free using the SoFi Hong Kong app. This is one of SoFi's FSPL "top of the funnel" feeder products. Look for HK offerings to expand.
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In December 2018, we purchased a 16.7% interest in Apex, which resulted in partial integration of the transaction clearing and asset custody functions integral to SoFi Invest. The investment has also enabled us to participate in earnings from Apex's customer base. As of September 30, 2020, our ownership interest in Apex was 16.8%.Apex's clients include Ally Invest, M1, Wealthfront, Stash, Betterment, and others.
Our equity method investment in Apex primarily benefits us in two ways: First, it facilitates better planning, coordination and integration in the technology stack for SoFi Invest, which requires clearing brokerage services. Second, we benefit from the income earned on providing clearing brokerage services to other institutions, and earn fees for margin lending and pay-for-order flow, the latter of which consists of arrangements whereby exchanges and market-makers pay for routing them certain orders.
DEFINITIONS AS OF 22 JAN 2021 | Definitions |
---|---|
1 man ballast party | Extremely fat shipmate |
24WWGHE | “24 weeks wasted. Go home, Ensign!” |
45/45 | 45 days restriction, 45 days busted down in rank |
6 and 6 | Full workday = working from midnight to 6 pm |
72 | 3 day weekend |
96 | 4 day weekend |
99 | Everyone; see ALCON |
ACK | Acknowledge; typically used in chat |
A-gang | Auxiliary division of Engineering department |
Airframer | Someone who works on or with the planes/helos |
ALCON | All concerned |
All conditions normal | A report made from a watch stander declaring there’s nothing wrong, or at least you’ll just have to take their word for it |
All elbows and assholes | Everyone |
A lot of moving parts | There’s a lot of stuff happening at the same time (implication is to not fuck it up) |
Angle-irons | A construction material consisting of pieces of steel with an L-shaped cross-section, able to be bolted together. |
As Fragged | As planned |
Ass hat | An idiot |
ATFQ | Answer the Fucking Question (or Full Question if someone in authority asks |
AUX Tank | Auxiliary tank |
Bagged nasty | Disgusting bags lunches |
Bag the watch | Relieve some late or screw them somehow. |
BallGazer | The taunting moniker given to one who has recently gazed upon balls, usually when the owner of the balls displays his thumb and index finger forming a circle over the balls. |
Balls | Midnight (0000 looks like balls) |
Balls to X watch | Midnight to x watch |
Battle Buddy | Person you stay with; often appointed or mandated |
Battle rhythm | Daily routine |
Beat a dead horse | Drive the point home |
Beef Stroke-me-off | Beef stroganoff |
Been in since breakfast | /newtothenavy |
Behoove | It is in your best interest of not getting yelled at |
Belay my last | Said over the net, especially 1MC when you fuck up an announcement |
Belt-fed cock: | A shitty situation that just keeps going |
Beno-be | Need definition |
Bent shit can | As a replacement for someone incapable |
Binder warfare | Coming to the realization that your main job in the navy is building and maintaining binders and admin; see CYA |
Birds | Aircraft, usually helicopters |
Blue falcon | Buddy fucker / throwing someone under the bus |
Blue nose | Sailor that has crossed the Arctic Circle and participated in ceremony |
BLUF | Basic line up front; usually at the top of emails, often is not basic |
Boat Boo | A sailor’s girlfriend or boyfriend aboard ship, usually during deployment, and often an arranged affair between two married sailors. |
Boat chucks | Need definition |
Boat hot/ Ship 9/ Deployment 8, etc | Rating attractiveness with a caveat |
Boats | A term usually given to the senior Boatswain Mate on ship |
BOHICA | Bend Over, Here It Comes Again |
Boondockers | A boot you wear on ship |
Boot/Booters | New to the Navy |
Boots on the ground | People out there doing things |
Bremerlo | A certain female dwelling in vicinity of Bremerton; see Grotopotmous |
Brick | Old fashioned communications device |
Broom Closet | Where you store all the cleaning supplies, usually small. |
Brownies | Brown short shorts |
Bubblehead | Submariner |
Bug Juice | Sugary kool-aid type drink served in mess |
Bull | Senior Ensign in Wardroom |
Bunkie Monkey | Need definition |
Burn a flick | Watch a movie |
Burning holes in the sky | Wasting gas flying around |
Bust me on the surface | “Sir, i am disregarding your stupid orders for crew/my safety and when we survive despite your efforts you can take me to mast.” |
Butter bar | Ensign |
Butt shark | Brown noser, suck-up |
Cage | Keep under wraps, or decrease visibility of something; “We have to cage expectations” |
Can’t swing a dead cat without hitting x | There is a lot of something and it’s pretty easy to find |
Capture it in a slide | Stop talking or writing and put it in a powerpoint slide so we can "understand" it or at least make it look like we are doing something. |
Checks with charted water | Need definition |
Check valve | A shipmate who makes a food or drink run and doesn't ask anyone else if they want anything. This is especially true if they're getting a delivery order and it would have been easy to just order more food. Fucking check valve. |
Cheese dicking | In a sentence: “If you’re cheese dicking it stop, get help from someone who knows" |
Chicken wheels | Chicken-like substance served on mess deck |
Chief of the Broach | Chief of the watch controls ballast and trim when at sea, a poor or inexperienced one will cause us to Broach when approaching the surface for comms or something, so he is known as Chief of the Broach. |
Chit | A form usually submitted up through the chain of command allowing you to do something |
Chocks out | Ready to go; see pull/pulling chocks |
Cinderella Liberty | Liberty expires as midnight |
CIP / cip | Come in please |
Civvies | Civilian clothes |
Clamp down | Tighten or get ahold of typically an out of hand situation |
Cleaning party | Group put together to clean something |
Clear as mud? | “Is it clear?” Usually said after confusing explanation but implying that there should not be any more questions and that you should just shut up and go do what you’re told |
Clear your Baffles | Also Sweep your baffles: Term used to describe the turning of the sub to allow sonar to look at the area behind boat that would be shielded by the sub itself. We would normally give nubs on the boat a broom and ask them to sweep the baffles. |
COB | Chief of the Boat, aka CMC |
COBRA | Chief of the Boat, Reactor Aft. Senior enlisted Nuke on a sub, aka EDMC |
Cock and cake | “They’re serving cock and cake on the mess decks and are fresh out of cake” |
Cock holster | Mouth |
Code Brown | Need definition |
Coner | (Submarine Service) A submarine crewman who is not part of the engineering department (slang for Nuke below), especially Torpedomen |
Cover down | Fill in; we need someone to cover down since SN Timmy has COVID |
Cowlings | The removable cover of a vehicle or aircraft engine. |
Crayon eaters | Marines |
Crocodile closest to the canoe | The most relevant near-term problem related to a situation |
Crutch gear | Need definition |
Cupcaking | To flirt with or get together with someone else at the command |
CYA | Cover your ass |
Dan | Dinq Ass Nub. Someone who is not qualified. Dept. Skittle is a disparaging term for anyone who wears a flight deck jersey. |
Death Pillows | Ravioli |
Deckplate leadership | Talking to sailors, making oneself be seen; typically Chiefs brag about it |
Deep Six | Get rid of something |
Dependa | A dependent, typically implying a lazy, overweight spouse who does not work |
Dick broom | Mustache |
Dick skinners | Hands |
Diggit | As in that diggit is at it again, doing preemptive maintenance. Or a diggit tool being a multi tool. |
DINQ | (Pronounced "Dink") Acronym for Delinquent In Qualifications. Ex: "That shitbird is dinq on ship's quals!" |
Dirtbag | A lazy and almost useless sailor. Produces substandard work-usually creating extra work for his shipmates. Accompanied by a bad attitude and desire to leave service ASAP. |
Divers working aloft | Something ridiculous happening |
Divisional / Wardroom gentleman | At the end of someone’s tour when they start shedding duties like a snake shedding its skin and begins to no longer have a job at the command |
Dog and pony show | All of the ridiculous things a command usually does to impress a visiting dignitary or put on some ceremony |
Doghouse | In trouble |
Donkey Dick | Term used for many nozzle shaped implements |
Don’t give up the ship | Phrase said by John Paul Jones, to not give up the ship |
DOTM | Destroyer of all things mechanical |
Double down | Work harder at a task; usually implying there is a time crunch |
Double headed dragon | Whenever you get so fucked up you throw up on your dick while your taking a shit |
Drinking out of a fire hose | Lots of information presented, usually via PowerPoint by unenthusiastic school |
Drive-by | Un-announced check in from leadership; usually with negative or frustrating timing and/or consequences. |
Drop your cocks and grab your socks | Get ready to do something |
Dunnage | Anything used in the shipping industry to brace and protect the freight being transported. Dunnage includes, but is not limited to, empty cardboard boxes, inflated shipping pillows, lengths of wood, pallets, styrofoam, bubble wrap, etc. |
Duty Head Roll the Dice | Returning from liberty in a foreign port) |
Easy day | Some task will be simple to carry out |
ECF | Error Carried Forward |
Every swinging dick | Every person |
Fan room counseling | Counseling in a hidden place, implying that there was some physical aspect to rectify a sailor who has been bad |
FCF | Need definition |
FIGMO | Fuck it, got my orders |
Fish | Submarine warfare insignia / Also a torpedo |
Fishbowling | To put alcohol into a fishbowl, color it with food coloring, and drink it with bendy straws |
FOD God | Foreign object damage god |
Food for freedom | Getting kicked out for being out of body standards |
Food run | Go off the ship or command to grab food for yourself or a group, sometimes the duty section |
Force Multiplier | Be the person that |
Four Meal Fatty | fr when we did 18 hr days) |
Fried fish shoes | Need definition |
Fru-fru coffee | Nice coffee; some of that gourmet shit |
FUBAR | Fucked up beyond all recognition |
FUBIJAR | Fuck U buddy I’m just a reservist. |
Fuck | A word that can be used as a noun, verb, adjective, adverb, and pronoun, often simultaneously. Indeed it can be its own sentence to a properly motivated sailor. |
Fucked up as a football bat | You don’t use a bat for football, so that means something or someone is fucked up AND useless |
Fuck fuck games | Stupid games that are not contributing to getting the job done so you can go home |
Fucktard | An idiot |
Full speed ahead | Did something without thinking; throwing caution to the wind |
FYSA | For your situational awareness |
GA | Go ahead ; used in short hand in chat |
Gaggle/gigglefuck | Unformed group going from place to place Struggle Snuggle-sleeping where you can between endless drill sets, usually in a pile. |
Galley | Cafeteria |
Gear adrift | Loose or unsecured gear or equipment. Also a less-than-flattering assessment of a sailor "Seaman Jones is gear adrift!" |
Geedunk | Candy, snacks, or a place that sells either |
Get Hot | To do hard work or exercise. |
Get your knee pads ready | You messed up or did something stupid, prepare to have to do ridiculous things to get out the bind you are in. |
Goat locker | Lounge or galley for the exclusive use of Chiefs |
Goat Locker Working Party | A group working that's not actually achieving anything |
Go Fasters | Tennis or running shoes meant for working out |
Go get me a BT punch | Need definition |
Going sad | Claiming or actually having depression or suicidal ideation and thereby leaving duty station |
Gonna be a bad day | If you do something stupid “It’s gonna be a bad day for everyone.” |
Good deal | Falling down those stairs will hurt but you might break your leg and skip a deployment, that's a good deal |
Good idea fairy | Those wonderful folks filled with ideas, creating work for the rest of us |
Good to go | Ready |
Go to GQ | Go to general quarters; all hands on deck |
Greenies | Little green shorts |
Greenside | Marine corps |
Grey space | Period of time between evolutions where nothing is planned |
Gronk it Down | Need definition |
Grotopotamus | The rather large ladies that graze around the Groton, CT area. Similar to a Bremerloe |
Guacaflauge | Term fo the current Green Type III Camouflage uniforms |
Gundeck /Gundecking | To fudge maintenance or qualifications |
Hamster | Chicken Cordon Bleu - A baked breaded piece of chicken with ham and cheese in the middle |
Hardpack | The coveted ice cream that is scooped out of its container, I.e. not soft serve |
Hatch | Door on ship |
Haze gray and underway | Navy ship going out to sea |
Head | Restroom |
Heave out and trice up | Wake up |
Helmet fire | When a pilot becomes so task saturated in the cockpit that he loses the big picture and situational awareness (SA). Often leads to mistakes that can produce lethal results. |
Hhotter than two squirrels fuckin in a wool sock! | It is very hot outside |
High and to the right | Over-react |
High Speed | High performing |
High speed low drag | High performing and efficient |
Hinge | O-4 / LCDR |
Hip pocket class | Need definition |
Hit the deckplates | Walking around and getting to know sailors; preached by chiefs mess |
Hollywood shower | Long shower |
Hookin and jabbin | Fighting |
HOOYAH | Navy’s take on Oorah / Hoo-ah; |
Horizontal time machine | Bed / rack |
Hot-ass - (noun for anything and everything) | Some (noun) is great |
Hot racking | Multiple people sharing |
Hot Runner | When you're two weeks ahead on your quals |
However comma | A phrase said by uncreative leaders attempting to emphasize a point while addressing a crowd of disinterested sailors |
Hurry up and wait | A cross-service saying poking fun at the fact that we are always rushing to then commence a long period of waiting before beginning any evolution |
Hydro that blouse | when that shirt button is holding on for dear life to stay on due to wearers weight |
IAW | In accordance with |
IBM | Instant Bosun Mate |
If you’re not early, you’re late | Be early, because we start on time and are not going to wait |
I had it you got it | Said during rushed watch turnover wher |
It gets better after ORSE | There is always another ORSE (Operational Reactor Safeguard Examination) coming, hence it never gets better. |
IYAOYAS | If you ain't ordnance, you ain't shit |
Jam Dive Buddy | That special friend you designate as "emotional" support when your submarine is headed the way of the Thresher. Also just an acronym for shorthand. |
J-dial | Internal communication system identifier on ships |
Jesus Nut | Slang term for the main rotor retaining nut or mast nut, which holds the main rotor to the mast of some helicopters. The related slang term Jesus pin refers to the lock pin used to secure the retaining nut. |
Joe / Joe Navy | A highly motivated member of the service who has “drank the kool aid” |
Joe Schmuckatelli | a reference to any person from Chief |
Joker | Idiot, someone who doesn’t take things seriously |
JORG | Junior officer requiring guidance: Ensign designated by wardroom as the bottom of the ensigns. JORG is in charge of events and wardroom shenanigans and carrying on “tradition” |
Keelhaul | A punishment inflicted for various offences in the Dutch Navy. It is performed by plunging the delinquent repeatedly under the ship's bottom on one side, and hoisting him up on the other, after having passed under the keel. Not currently in practice, hopefully. |
Keep steady strain | Keep up the hard work |
Keep the plates spinning | Keep juggling a lot of different projects and things that are going on |
Khaki | Term used to describe senior enlisted members (E-7 and above) or officers, due to the khaki-colored working uniform typically worn by them. |
Khaki Fucker | Someone who sucks up to khaki leadership |
Knee-knockers | A knee-knocker refers to the bottom portion of a watertight door’s frame. They are notorious for causing shin injuries. The drunken sailor’s worst enemy. |
Knife hands | A term to describe a flattened hand pointed at someone, either done seriously or ironically |
Knock the high dust off | Pay special attention to something, dig deep |
Knock the rust off | Get back to doing something after not doing it for a while |
Knuckle-dragger | Mechanic |
LDI | Liberty dependant item |
Leaders | Typically addressed to a group of sailors or khaki in an email; see 99 or ALCON. |
Level cake | When the cooks make a sheet cake that's 1/2" thick on one side and 4" on the other, and try to level it out with frosting Hollywood shower: shower that lasts longer than necessary, usually not done by the people that desperately need them |
Liberty call, Liberty call | The most sweet words you’ll ever hear after pulling into port; If you aren’t on duty, you can leave the ship |
Like a monkey fuckin a coconut! | Someone is messing something up |
Line | Flight Line |
Line Rats | Sailors who get around the flight line |
Living document | A document that is in draft and is expected to continue requiring updates |
Living the dream | A phrase said when asked how you are doing. Response following usually is: “Nightmares are dreams too” then everyone reflects on how deeply they are indoctrinated |
Long pole in the tent | The person doing all the work for everyone; also implying that you are not sharing the workload well enough |
Maintenance Bible | COMNAVAIRFORINST 4790.2 |
Maintenance by the book, with the book open | Don’t fuck up this maintenance |
Make a hole | Move out of the way |
Making sausage | The arduous small steps in a larger process to actually accomplish a bigger project |
Manned up/manned and ready | Everyone is ready at where they are supposed to be to begin some evolution |
MARF | Make A Rove, Fucktard. What the duty chief tells the rover when he comes up for tour or smoke and the rover "just" came back from a rove and is hanging out in the pood shack every damn time |
Marking turns for nowhere | Not pulling into port anytime |
Max blast | Full capacity |
Mech | A mechanic |
Mechanical agitation | Smack the shit out of something with a hammer, mallet, or wrench until you get it loose, free, or make it work. You can't say, "Oh yeah, I just walloped it with a big-ass hammer." But you can say, "Liberally applied mechanical agitation to free the stuck valve." See percussive maintenance. |
Melting kids to the sidewalk | Blowing stuff up / dropping bombs; see warheads on foreheads |
Mid-Rats | Food served out at sea at midnight for the off-going watch team |
Milk truck | Someone who made/makes a bunch of noise on a submarine, threatening stealth |
Missing gear | Missing something, may have been stolen |
MITRN | Maybe in the Russian Navy |
Monkey's Paw/fist | A type of knot, so named because it looks somewhat like a small bunched fist/paw. |
Monkey dick | An idiot or dumbass |
Monkey Shit | Thick, white packing material used in a feeble attempt to seal openings between bulkheads where cables run through. |
MOTO | Master of the Obvious, Moto could also be short for motivated |
ABA | Answer by accident |
Muscle fucked | Need definition (FOR the record, I searched this one on google. I don’t think the videos that came up were what this phrase is referring to… |
NAMP | Naval Aviation Maintenance Program |
Nastygram | A email sent from your higher headquarters or other command telling you that you messed up |
NAVY | Never again volunteer yourself = lessons for life |
Navy Gravy | Navy coffee |
Next time check the pub instead of your rectal database, shipmate! | Someone gave you bad gouge |
Night ops | Operations at night; doing something in a clandestine way |
NNMBM | Navy Needs More Bosun's Mates (ie, you're a fucking idiot) |
No liberty | Can’t go out in town |
NonQual | Also known as a Dinq Ass bitch |
Nooner | A nap taken during lunch |
NUB | Non Useful Body |
Nug it out | Spend the time to do something that is time consuming |
Nuke it | To overthink an easy task |
Nut to butt | Get a close as possible; usually in marching formation |
OBNOB | Only black nuke onboard |
Offline / talk offline | Said during meetings to have a separate discussion outside the current situation. Said by either those who do not want their idiocy observed by others, OR they are considerate enough to not subject everyone else to the pointless conversation |
Old dirt | Unique and different from “new dirt” |
Once over dust, twice over rust | Said when painting; implying that sometimes its best to just paint over stuff |
One is NONE | You can’t do something alone |
Out-fucking-standing | Great, but usually said with heavy sarcasm |
Outlook leadership | Leading from the front, utilizing the finest Microsoft Office tech |
Outside your Swim lane / wheelhouse | An area that is not in your job description; “this task is outside your swimlane, BMC” |
Oxygen Thief | An idiot, literally stealing oxygen |
Paper chiefs/ensigns/assholes | Gummed Reinforcements (office supplies) |
Part-time sailor | SSBN sailors |
Peanut butter shot | A painful shot normally given in the back of the hip or gluteus maximus. |
Pecker Checker | Corpsman |
Percussive maintenance | Conduct maintenance by hitting something |
PERGA | PERGA / Permission Granted |
Phantom shitter | An unidentified fugitive who shits in places they should not |
Phone Bitch | Someone whose sole job it is to carry or talk on the phone |
Piggyback | To add to what someone else said. “To piggyback off of what the Captain said….” |
Playing switchem with donuts | See Switchem: Where one would stack donuts on the soiled thumb to chew on. |
Play stupid games win stupid prizes | You get hurt or get in trouble doing something that was dumb and people told you not to do |
Point of Fuck UpPOFU | "Sir, as depicted in this image is the battle groups POFU." |
Pollywog / Wog | Someone who has not yet participated in a “Crossing of the line” ceremony |
Poopy Suit | Coveralls |
Pop smoke | Make people aware of a bad situation / call for help |
Port and starboard watch bill | 6 hours on 6 hours off work indefinitely |
Pot of money | Where something is funded from |
Problem with a capital P | Big problem |
Promulgate | Put out information |
Provide bodies | Offer up a group of sailors who work for you to do a task |
Pubs | As in publications |
Pukes | Any group you have to deal with who isn't crew. i.e. Squadron pukes. |
Pulling chocks | Get ready to leave or leave |
PUMA | Possibly the ugliest man aboard |
Push these racks outboard | Boot camp reference prior to exercising the living crap out of your group |
Putting out fires | The act of taking care of problems |
Rack back | Go to bed |
Rack city | Beds / go to bed |
Rack out | Go to sleep |
Rack to the future | Go to bed to pass the time |
Rattles like two skeletons fucking in a garbage can | Something is loud |
Read means dead | If you see red, that is bad |
Redline | You cannot cross this line, or you are prohibited from doing something |
Refreshment Technician | Engine room watchstander. Sometimes called reactor technician |
Rhinos | Jets |
Riders / Fucking Riders | People who are TAD to a ship or aircraft and do absolutely nothing useful except take up space and get in line first |
Ring knocker | One of our illustrious Academy Graduates |
Roach Coach | The snack or lunch truck that stops by the pier. |
ROAD Program | Retired on Active Duty |
Roast beast | Pejorative term for the roast beef served |
Rock fight | “Navy cooks could fuck up a rock fight.” |
Roger up | Provide a response/provide a response that you are going to do something |
Rolling out | Leaving |
RTFM | Read the Fucking/Full Manual |
Sailor-proof or Sailor-proofing | Make something so hard to fuck up that even sailors cant fuck it up |
Same shit, different day | Phrase said by those who have long since lost their sense of self on their way to reaching that 20 year mark |
SAT and UNSAT | Satisfactory and unsatisfactory; terms to des |
Saved rounds | Additional comments; said at the end of a meeting “any saved rounds?” |
Say again | Please repeat what you just said |
Schoolhouse | The place where you go to “learn” skills from powerpoint and a bored instructor |
Scooby snacks | Snacks |
Scuttlebutt | A water fountain on a ship; also means gossip |
Sea and Anchor Detail | The all hands evolution required to get underway and go out to sea (as well as anchor. |
Sea Dad/Daddy/mom/Pup | A mentomentee |
Sea lawyer | Someone who cites, recites and interprets manuals, regulations and rule, usually to their own benefit or to prove someone wrong |
Seaman/Fireman/_man Schmuckatelli /Timmy | A random or average sailor (implication is that they’re new to the navy and kind of an idiot) |
Sea Pussy | A yeoman or personnelman - akin to a secretary - does clerical work |
Sea sniffer | Need definition |
Secure for sea /but ironically and unironically) | Make sure stuff is tied down so that it doesn’t move when the ship is bouncing around at sea |
Semper gumby | Remain flexible |
Send it | Do it |
Send up to the old man | Send something up to the Captain |
Set Yoke on her | To set Yoke |
Shady Shit | Stuff that is probably not legal |
Shaft alley dive team | People who do the work in the bilges |
Shaft to aft | The engineering spaces |
Shellback | The salty sailor who has crossed the line and is no longer a slimy polywog |
Shillelagh Make fast Skivey waver | Signalman |
Shipmate / Shipmaaaaate | A term to describe all fellow sailors: Said both ironically and un-ironically. Ship, shipmate, self! |
Shitbag | AKA Sierra Bravo; Usually not put together shipmate, or one who does stuff that constantly screws over others and doesn’t care about their own actions |
Shitmate | Shipmate + Shit |
Shit on a shingle | Darnit |
Shitrats | Pejorative term for midrats |
Shitshow | Describing something that was messed up |
Shitwhack/Fuckwhack | Same as shitload/fuckload |
Shoot a red star cluster | Let people know you need help |
Shooting from the hip | Guessing |
Short | As in short timer |
Shotgun blast | Send out information or an email to a lot of people unexpectedly |
Sick call commando | Someone who “gets sick” a lot |
Sick call warrior | Same as sick call commando |
Sidebar | A legal term used to describe the need to not subject everyone else to a conversation that is happening that does not concern the wider group |
Silence on the net | Shut up and stop talking on the radios; Also used as “I’m hearing silence on the net” as in no one is responding |
Skate / skater | Someone who’s trying to avoid work |
Skim the wave tops | Only talk about the important points |
Slobbering geek | IT, or anyone trying to be an IT |
Sloppy Hoes | Pejorative name for sloppy joes |
SMAG | Simple minded ass grabber. Superior mechanic, almost Godlike. And another that’s probably not allowed here. Certain type of Nuke (Engineering Lab Tech). |
Smokin and jokin/ coking and joking | Joking around; typically used in reference of a bunch of people who are not working when they should be |
Smoking lamp | Where you can smoke onboard the ship. When the smoking lamp is lit, you are allowed to smoke. |
Smoothie | Nuke ET. Short for smooth crotch. Refers to the lack of any defined features in the “crotchal region” |
SNAFU | Situation Normal All Fucked Up |
SNOB | Shortest (least time left) nuke on board) |
Sound the alarm | Make others aware of a situation |
Soup sandwich | Someone or something that is a complete mess/completely fucked up |
Soup to nuts | Beginning to end |
Spearhead | Initiate, lead |
Standby to standby / Stand the fuck by | Standby because you’re in trouble and whatever leader just said this is so angry they can’t think of a punishment just yet |
Struggle snuggle | Sleeping where you can between endless drillsets, usually in a pile. |
Strut Gear | Landing gear |
Stump the chump | Asking questions that are so specific and ridiculous, you’re not even sure if the person asking them knows; tactic employed by assholes sitting on qualifications boards |
Sucked their way to the top/ EP | Did or is perceived as having done special things to make rank or qualifications / eval |
Sucking Ghost Dick | Vaping |
Suck start a mossberg | Kill oneself |
Sun of a gun | Damnit |
Super Secret squirrel | The weirdos who do anything Information warfare related |
Swabs | Mops |
Sweat equity | The value of hard work |
Sweepers | Daily required cleaning of the ship |
Switchem | When you are sucking one thumb, and the other is up your ass. Then someone yells SWITCHEM and you switch the thumbs |
Tacticool | Term used for someone who is decked out in gear but kind of looks like a dweeb |
Take a round turn | Double check and work harder at something |
TBI | True but irrelevant |
THE Academy | THE United States Naval Academy |
The balls | Any watch that goes through midnight (0000) |
The love shack | Whichever room on the ship that has the most people shacking up caught in it) |
The pit | The engine room |
The rev | The watch in which reveille is called |
The Sandbox | What happens in the sandbox, stays in the sandbox) |
The squeaky wheel gets the grease | The most noticeable (or loudest) problems are the ones most likely to get attention. |
Throat | End/Beginning of the taxiway |
Tie up loose ends | Take care of the little unfinished tasks |
Time in the rack is time off the boat | Sleeping allows you to forget you’re on deployment |
Toilet lasagna | When a toilet doesn’t flush and someone shits in it, then someone lays a layer of TP to not look at it, the some shots on the TP. Repeat. |
Too easy / Easy day | The task ahead will be not difficult |
Tool Bitch | Someone who can't really help you fix something you are working on or anything else for that matter. So to make them feel like they are worth anything at all you allow them to get you the tools you need for the job. |
Topsider | Those fortunate souls who do not work in Engineering |
Tracking | Are you following? Often said by leadership needing while giving speeches to gauge or increase engagement of those poor souls that have to listen to their incessant blabbering |
Triangle fish | Fish served in galley |
Tricare-atops | People who marry servicemembers for the “amazing” healthcare; see Dependa |
Trip to the fanroom | Take care of something by physical means |
Trust yet verify | Trust that someone is doing something you asked them to do, but it’s best to double check and ensure they actually did it |
Turning dead dinosaurs into noise | Burning gas |
Turnover (for watch) | To leave your post only when properly relieved |
Twidget | Nuke ET |
Two Five Stay Alive | 2.5 GPA average often required to graduate certain school houses |
Up on the governor | Need definition |
Ustafish | The name for any submarine in your past "back on ustafish we would..." |
Very well | An official response to being informed of something |
Vitamin M | Motrin |
Voluntold | You were volunteetold to do something |
Vulcan death watch | Some brutal combination of six and four hour watches. These tend to be very grueling periods, hence the “death watches” part of the name |
Waffle stomp | Take a shit in the shower and then attempt to stomp it down the drain to cover your tracks. |
Walking Aux tank | Need definition |
Walking on cans | Need Definition |
Warheads on foreheads | The act of bombing something, or anything involved in the process |
Wash Rack | Need definition |
Wattages on cottages | Same meaning as Warheads on Foreheads |
Weekend warrior | Reservist |
Wheels | Nickname for a Quartermaster, usually given to senior QM onboard |
Who’s who in the zoo | A description of who people are |
Wilco | Will comply |
Wire-biter | Electricians |
Word on the deckplates | Gossip |
Working party | A group of sailors assigned to carry out a large task |
Written in blood | The rules to do or not do something are because somebody got hurt or died doing what you are not supposed to do |
Your shit better be in one sock and not dripping | Something chief says about your accuracy with things |
Zarf | A cup holder |
Zoomies | Radiation / also a term for members of the Air Force |
Source | Information |
---|---|
Goat Locker Navy Slang | General Navy slang terms; pretty thorough resource. Check this one out before you go to the others. |
Quarterdeck | If you’re looking for more standardized definitions like, ‘bow’ or what a ‘keel’ |
Wiktionary Glossary of Military Slang | General Military Slang from all over the world and different services |
Wiktionary Glossary of U.S. Navy Slang | Pretty definitive comprehensive list of internet-compiled Navy slang |
Wiktionary Glossary of U.S. Navy Unit Nicknames | Navy unit nicknames; this page is not well loved, but there are still some good definitions in here |
2015 Business Insider article on Navy terms | Pretty generic article regarding Navy terms, like 'Muster' |
Jalopnik article on USN Submarine | Article with a few good terms from the sub community |
Dictionary of Naval Abbreviations (DICNAVAB) by Bill Wedertz (Apparently the writer of The Bluejackets’ Manual) | I didn't actually get my hands on a copy, but it is a printed hardcopy version of this from years past. |
Tangentially related in the sense of one's environment informing what they're made of• “Button Masher”
There was a ghost who broke it all up into tiny numbers
And dated vector graphics, and New York Times puzzles
Who struggled knowing love as more than boring data entry
More reported from an orbit all his own, to say it gently
I'm reporting from an orbit all my own, to say it gently
What ship, what shore?• “Pizza Alley”
I grew up writing riddles under bridges in New York
Now I travel like a highwayman who whispers to his horse
Sharing stories out of winter, trying to trigger something pure
No stacked sash or accolades from authority• “Marble Cake”
The backstory gets all back-into-a-corner-y
Abuses in the feeding tube that circle back to eat at you
Bacteria that tip the hat, adversity that gleam the cube
It's tit for tat with slippery aristocrats who pity cops
And brilliant rats who find the grit to slip out of the Skinner box
The moat's supposed to keep the rivals out
The calls are coming from inside the house
Breaking out of that boarded house, faking normal has wore me down• “Boot Soup”
Hit the road, an old misanthrope alone, tip me over and pour me out
Cozy up to that pressure cooker, my heart's a bottle, my head's a butcher
My blood a mix of both milk and sugar, I push the pencil, no pencil-pusher
I've been ignoring any semblance of relatable Earth• “Holy Waterfall”
I got a homie from the region who could name every bird
And tell you what it is to wake up with a tank in the yard
Type of shit to make you question what your days even are
There's a holy waterfall where you could rinse and repeat
Find religion while the minnows eat the skin off your feet
If you wake me on a January morning at four
Don't get excited when I bark at the door
How to Play the No Internet Google Chrome Dinosaur Game - Both Online and Offline Abbey Rennemeyer Several years ago, Google added a fun little Easter egg to Chrome: if your internet went down and you tried to visit a web page, you'd see the message "Unable to connect to the Internet" or "No internet" with a little pixilated dinosaur next to it. This is a Birthday Limited Edition of Chrome T-Rex Dinosaur Game during the 10th birthday of Google Chrome in Sep 2018. T-Rex Game(AKA Chrome Dino, or the NO INTERNET GAME) is one of the hidden Google games which originally can only be activated when you are offline with Chrome browser. Today this game can be played unblocked. Want to hack it? The jumping dino mini-game first appeared in the popular browser Google Chrome version named Canary. The page with this offline entertainment opened when there is no internet on your PC or other device. On the page, the popular species of dinosaur T-Rex just stands without moving. This will continue until before you click on the “space” button. Play Google's hidden T-Rex dinosaur game, enhanced Bot Mode included. Without going offline with Chrome, enjoy the “No Internet game T Rex” now. Want to hack it? Just click the 'bot mode' to enable the AI robot to achieve the highest score of 999999. Dinosaur Game is a endless runner game originally build into Google Chrome. The game was added as an easter egg to Google Chrome in 2014 to entertain users for when there is no internet available. The game - nicknamed Chrome Dino - featuring a t-rex is played by over 270 million players every month. The idea behind the Chrome Dino game is to navigate the dinosaur over cacti and other obstacles without getting hit for as long as you possibly can. Or perhaps, till your internet comes back up. There’s no ending to the game, really. Unless, according to Edward, you can play it continously for 17 million years. Here we will guide you about No Internet Dinosaur Game Play Now Online Free On Google – Mobile, Ipad, Desktop which is very entertaining.. Internet down? There is a game for you that you can play when your internet is down or do not work. Google Chrome has made a hidden game for the users that can be played when your internet stops working. Google Dinosaur game first appeared in 2014 in the Canary version of the Google Chrome browser. ... T-Rex appears on the page along with the message "No Internet connection". Many people perceive the picture as a joke and do not realize that it's time to have fun in the company of a dinosaur, pterodactyls and cacti. Game rules. T-Rex Dinosaur - a replica of the hidden game from Chrome offline mode. Press Space to start the game online and jump your Dino, use down arrow (↓) to duck. Chrome Dinosaur Game using Python – Free Code Available. November 8, 2020 November 13, 2020 - by Diwas Pandey - 1 Comment. When there is no internet connection available on Chrome, we can see the offline Dinosaur Game on Chome Browser. Today we are going to build a model to play ” Chrome Dinosaur Game using Python “.
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